Okay there Catholicism

Ninety-Five Theses on the Power and Efficacy of Indulgences

Have you read this article? No, seriously have you read this article? Please read this article!

Let's break this down shall we?

-A 9 year old girl in Brazil gets raped by her step-father
-She becomes pregnant with twins
-Abortions are illegal in Brazil unless the pregnancy poses a threat to the health of the mother or in cases of rape
-The doctors agree to give the 9 year old girl an abortion because her hips are too small give birth AND she was raped
-The Catholic Church then goes on to excommunicate the doctors and the girl's family saying that the zygotes could have been delivered through cesarean and that they've killed 'an innocent'

Are you not angry? Are you not fuming?

I've been brought up in a Catholic background so I know the pro-life stance through and through: Life begins at conception. Life is a gift of God. We have no right to deny a gift from God. etc. etc.

PLEASE! We are not at all concerned with gifts from God.

Proof?

Is this planet that we live on, not a 'gift from God' and what have we done? We've maimed, mutliated, burned, and desecrated this 'gift from God'. So are these people advocating 'going green' or developing a sustainable way of living? These people who have a history of vast wealth, power, and influence? These people who are living in grand palaces with an infinite amount of money, who are out of touch with the world, and living the life that is a far cry from a poor carpenter????

I don't think so!

This girl has been permanently damaged. Her life and family will never be the same. Her innocence was ripped and torn from her, and the Catholic church is more concerned with excommunicating her family and her doctors. What about her step father? Did he not snuff out this girl's, who for all intents and purposes was his daughter, innocence, her life?

They can save their 'killing an innocent' argument because they have A LOT of experience with killing and robbing innocents!

Have all those priests who have been accused and charged with sexual assault and pedophilia been excommunicated? Are they not the real evil that should be cast out of the fold? Not a 9 year old girl's family the doctors who gave her a new lease on life. A girl who was ravaged and impregnated by an evil man who she trusted and loved. Their logic to me, is mind boggling. Its completely backwards, its completely out of touch, its completely irrational and illogical.

This is classic Roman Catholicism: everything exists in a vacuum. Only WE get into heaven so you have to listen to us!

This is so sickening! And they wonder why more and more people are turning away from The Church.

Sidenote: I went to a Catholic school all my life and in my high school years I went to an all girls school. Basically what I learned was that within the church, as women, we would always be second class. As women our only useful function, besides being members of the ~*alter guild*~, were to be baby machines. And lastly chastity, purity, and morality began and ended with us: you have sex before you're married: you're a whore. REPENT, SLUT. Your boyfriend has sex before he's married: Boys will be boys.

How messed up is that? In heterosexual consenting intercourse, it takes two to tango and yet only the women are persecuted. Only the women are sluts! In fact we tempted them! We seduced them! Its our fault! Those poor defenseless men, how could they EVER say no? Well they don't have to, because even if they say yes, its the woman's fault! Their immortal souls are not in jeopardy :phew:

And people wonder why I've walked away?

Tell me I got here at the right time

I have no proof but a piece of paper but I know that piece of paper could lead to something that I am in no way prepared to deal with. I don't know for sure. It could be nothing. It could be everything. Right now I don't know and I'm fearing the worst.

I was an asshole. I didn't try hard enough. I wasn't forgiving enough. I was too stubborn. I wasn't goood enough. I was mean. There's not enough time.

These are the the things that are going through my mind right now. I know that our relationship hasn't been perfect but I don't want him to remember me in that way because in the end we won't want to remember the fights and the yelling. We'd want to remember dancing to Harvest Moon when I was little. The jokes we had. Watching the game together. Camping. Soccer games.

I've always wanted a better relationship with my father but somehow it could never work. We expected each other to be people that we weren't and that's where our problems begin and end, because every thing stems from that. We don't really know each other, and today I regret that so very much.

Tomorrow if I find out that this is all just a whole lotta nothing, well I have to be better because what if I don't get a second chance.

I hope I do get that second chance, when I finally find out what's really going on. Life's temporary, you only have one shot. I won't have another father. So whatever the news is I'm going to be better because I don't want him to think of me as this horrible person and I don't want to look back at our relationship and have regrets, I don't want to hate myself for that, and I want to have good memories of my father.

That's all I want.

Mr. Hall, I was surfing the crimson wave, I had to haul ass to the ladies

**WARNING THIS POST MAY BE UNSUITABLE FOR MALES**

Girls, you'll understand. Woke up this morning felt fine. Showered, had my breakfast, got ready to go to work, and then I got that feeling. Oh you know that feeling. That feeling that you get when you know its only a matter of hours before it starts, EXCEPT I am 2 weeks early. I am crushed. It ruined my day. It will ruin my week. I'll have to break out the granny-panties. And I have cramps, and it hurts and I'm grumpy :( But it does explain why my pants have been a little snug and why I've been mowing through food like there's no tomorrow.

I dunno guys, the hormones kick in and I go nuts, I can't stop! Anything that's not nailed down- I mean I went through a half a can of smoked oysters...who the fuck pigs out on smoked oysters??? I dread the day when I become pregnant because it will be nine months of this as opposed to a week. NINE MONTHS!!!! I am going to get so fat and I'll have to go to mommy and me classes to work off all the smoked oysters and taco bell...ick mommy and me classes? how bourgeois!

But back to the point, why so early, lady crimson?

Beauty*2

I was getting ready for work the other day. It was cold. Its Canada. Whatever. So when I was slipping on my track pants from high school I realized that I don't remember the last time I wore jeans. Its been like MONTHS. On my way to work I have to travel by the ttc and its just easier and more comfortable to wear track pants because they're easy to put on and take off(I wear a uniform. Its a suit), and I'm only travelling 15 minutes at odd hours of the day so really who's going to see me?

So yea I'm totally that girl that has a full face of make-up, hair did and in track pants, AND?

But you know what's even scarier, I don't even remember the last time I went shopping...for clothes. Maybe December, for Christmas but other than that NOTHING. Last year I would go to Eaton's Centre once a week and pick up something from H&M or The Gap or any other store I could stand to be in for more than 5 minutes. I would put real thought into what I was wearing what kind of 'look' I was going for; did I want to be the comfy uni student in uggs, track pants, and a golf shirt or did I want to be cool indie rock girl with my black jeans, converse, printed tee and pearls...towards then end I mostly did the former.

But now I'm forever in track pants and plain t-shirts. Even when I see my friends I break out my 'fancy track pants' that are black and fitted (ooo)...yea we don't really go anywhere just chill at someone's house or go to the movies or make coffee runs, whatever its not that serious.

So my point is I am such a schlep now! I don't even know how to dress! I need to go shopping and buy new outfits and pump money into the econmy BUT I am also moving out in the very near future so its not like I can blow $500 in a matter of hours like the old days.

I guess I'm going to be little miss frumpy for the next little while :(

The Gargoyle

I just finished Andrew Davidson's The Gargoyle. Right away I loved it! I loved the cynicism of the narrator, the biblical immagery, the constant mention of Dante's Divine Comdey and the rich descriptions. The first half of the book is amazing, untouchable. The narrator/protagonist is never named but he describes his difficult childhood, his rise in the porn industry, and his accident/rehabilitation in full detail. I loved how he was a complete asshole even though he was burnt to a crisp. I loved how Davidson would drop little hints here and there that maybe just maybe Marianne Engel's story was true. However, I feel that the story turned from Amazing to Good when he came home from the hospital, and Good to Average towards the end.

As much as I want to love this book in its entirety...I can like it but I can't say that I love it. The beginning I absolutely love. The middle with Marianne's story of how they first met in 14th century Germany I really enjoyed, but towards the end when Marianne was going nuts with the stone carving, it kind of lost steam, and then you just hit this brick wall and you say to yourself "did that just happen? wait let me read that again...Oh, ok." An event that should have been more dramatic, more significant, more memorable, well it was kind of a let down on Davidson's part.

He started off so well, he had this amazing idea, of a love story lasting for over 700 years and towards the end it fell flat. As Marianne Engel became more and more eccentric I found it harder and harder to believe in her character. Plus I think I was more enamoured with the idea of their everlasting love than what was presented in the book. Its just my personal opinion in that if you're going to reveal the mysteries you've been building up in your book then reveal them, don't half ass it, and then have your character hang up on uncovering an amazing piece of human history. Reveal it or leave it a mystery.

Don't get me wrong, this was an enjoyable read, and I cannot belive that this is Davidson's first novel, because, he seems like a seasoned veteran but there's a point in the book where you start to notice that the author had a deadline to make, and while the beginning is completely mezmerizing and original, the end feels a bit rushed, and I do feel a bit cheated, since I feel the things that were promised by the beginning were not delivered at the end.

3/4

Fever Ray

'If I had a heart'


My first purchase off of iTunes. It was only $7.99, and boy was it ever worth it. Fever Ray is the solo effort from The Knife's Karin Dreijer Andersson. It jumps to sounding how The Knife's cousin would sound, to Oriental Surrealism, to Flamenco dancing on acid, to African tribal music, to something that could only come out of Scandinavia.

I don't know. This is my interpretation. Its a wonderful album. Every song is so different and yet so very much the same. Karin's vocals are so bizzare, so crazy, and so beautiful. If you're a fan of The Knife or of Sigur Ros then you'll love Fever Ray!

4/4

1) If I had a heart
2) When I grow up
3) Dry and Dusty
4) Seven
5) Triangle Walls
6) Concrete Walls
7) Now is the Only Time I Know
8) I'm not Done
9) Keep the Streets Empty For me
10) Coconut

*Bolded are my personal favourites

Everytime I try to break free something comes along to intervene

*sigh*

No matter what has happened between us, between them, I will always cherish New York, and this remains my favourite photo of us.

I miss them like some people would miss high school: You had good times, wouldn't change them for the world but you wouldn't go back, never go back.

...adulthood rears its ugly head once again.

FINALLY!!!!!!

I am trying to break your hear - Wilco

Its been two years, TWO YEARS, since I could listen to Wilco's I am trying to break your heart, because before today, every time I've tried to listen to it, it has reminded me of lame fucked up shit that eventually ended a chapter in my life. I love this song guys, and it pained me that [seemingly] it was forever tainted by something that was stupid, shitty, and wasted my time. I could never listen to it because when I did, I would say to my self 'aw man, not this shit again'. So I stopped listening to it, which sucked because it is such a great heartbreaking love song.

BUT

Today, TODAY, I listened to it without thinking back on 'that time', I fell in love with it all over again, just as beautiful as the first time I heard it. Oh Wilco, how I've missed thee, I'll never abandon you again, never leave you!

The Gargoyle

I've been working so much lately that I haven't even touched Andrew Davidson's The Gargoyle in like a week. I miss Marianne Engel and nameless narrator/protagonist. The book is so rich with imagery, and it makes me want to read Dante's Inferno...which I will since I think it will help me understand this book better. The Gargoyle has also made me rethink Christian ritual and immagery and what it really means to be a Christian.

...oh Christianity why won't you just let me go?

That's 2009!

See the ruins of the old world below, that's what our ancestors left us
Our robot masters will know how to clean this mess up and build a better world
For man and machine alike. For the boys and the girls who were slaves building space ships at night
in the florescent light.
Thats 2009.

No we can't! No we won't! No we can't! No!

On cold frosty Martian mornings the chill on my breath is red redder than my mother's blood
when she turned to me and said "This is not how we planned it but we've gotten ahead of ourselves computers rule the planet and the moon and mars as well. We lost the fight!"
That's 2009.

I have a micro chip implanted in my heart, so if I try to escape the robots will blow me apart
and my limbs will go flying and land before the ones that I love, who would wail and would weep
but the robots would keep them at bay, while I shut my eyes for the very last time.
Citizens of Tomorrow be forewarned!