Like being 'unavailable' when maybe, just maybe I'm not, just so you'd understand what it feels like when someone you care about doesn't seem care enough to prioritize, as if you're not worthy of their time management skills. We all lead busy lives yes but you can make time for your friends but not for me? Why should I then make time for you?
It got to the point where you would make plans with me and then I would make plans with someone else on the exact same day because I knew, I KNEW that you would flake out, and you know what every single time you did flake out.
Was that a dick move? I wouldn't say so, its not like you were committed to spending time with me, so why should I be committed to spending time with you. Can't make it? That's okay! After I hang up, I'm going out with people that actually do care. How can you have any kind of a relationship with someone who's always cancelling. Its shows a lack of commitment, a lack of responsibility, and an implication of selfishness, as if its only your time that's being spent or wasted.
That's why I ended it so long ago because I refused to have one foot out the door only to have you call 5 minutes before and cancel, its heart crushing to be stood up, by someone so close no less.
And you know what that's what's happening again except now I'm cancelling, so you can understand, so you can appreciate what it was like for me all those years. Its funny I can hear the pain in your voice, see the desperation in your messages because you miss me and hey you want to see me. It sucks doesn't it? When someone you care about doesn't seem to care about you.
Except I do care but you have to understand. For this to continue you have to get it.
